Deliverance. Red Dawn. Predator. The Wild Bunch.

Movies for Guys that Like Movies (fuck you, TNT).

And at least two of them have certain horror elements, thematically, at work.

Don't forget Southern Comfort, the most horror-themed manly movie of the 80s.

If Predator was assraped by Deliverance, SoCo would be it's horror baby.

Powers Booth, Fred Ward, Keith Carradine, Brion James, Peter Coyote, Les Lannom, Sonny Landham- that is a manly fuckin' movie right thar.

And has it really been 5 years since I got hitched to my old lady? It has.

Since she is so classy (and no longer naked on the web), I dedicate the classiest of classy horror movies to her today, over at 16 Days of Horror Trailers.

I love you, baby.

And has been doing so here.

Sugar Hill

Aw, yeah.

Ji-Woon Kim is one of my favorite director's working, and I've only seen two of his movies. One of them, Joheunnom nabbeunnom isanghannom (aka The Good, The Bad, The Weird) is one of the most exhilarating theatrical experiences I've ever sat through.

Choyonghan Kajok (The Quiet Family) isn't quite as frantic and post-modern. In fact, it is simplicity itself: a family retires to a remote mountain in South Korea to open an inn catering to the hikers. And their guests keep dying: suicide, murder, pure bad luck... the movie is a pitch-black comedy so dry that occasionally I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be laughing.



The trailer might be worth noting for the use of two decidedly western pieces of music (both used in the film itself), and for the presence of Min-sik Choi (the lead in Old Boy) and the truly wonderful Kang-ho Song in one of his first performances.

Takeshi Miike, the diamond dog of Japanese shock cinema, remade The Quiet Family- already a fantastic movie, as a musical.

My wife, who is pretty strongly anti-Miike, is strongly considering lifting her ban long enough to watch that.

The original, as it's trailer hopefully attests, is well worth your time.

Last year's trailer: Beware The Bunny

I love the way this trailer is all: "WARNING: FUCKED UP SHIT HAPPENS AT THE END OF THIS MOVIE THAT RONNY COX IS IN"



Insectoid-mutant-alien rape. Ronny Cox. Surprisingly descent performances (or not so surprising: Ronny Cox). Rednecks. Swamp folk. More rape. More Ronny Cox.

The trailer makes a point- I'm not sure what it is. I saw the movie when I was 14. I don't remember anything of it today other than rape and Ronny Cox.

Ronny Cox is the sheriff, not the fucked up mutant-insectoid-rape-baby with an alien daddy.

Ronny Cox.

RONNY COX.


Last Year's Trailer: The Beyond.

Sometimes a teaser trailer can do so much more than a full trailer.

Granted, sometimes (often, during the 70s, 80s, and even a bit of the 90s) a teaser trailer had absolutely zero footage from the movie it was teasing- and sometimes this was pretty cool. We don't see it much anymore, though I remember the first teaser trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean just being some CGI ocean while Wojciech Kilar's theme from Coppola's Bram Stoker's Dracula played.

Unlike that one, this is a pretty good teaser.



The movie itself is mostly forgotten by fans of the franchise though Ken Foree and Viggo Mortenson both give strong perfs. It is impossible to improve on the Tobe Hooper original, though the 2nd film has some outrageously gory fun (and a terrific Bill Moseley performance).

I felt that the reboot had some potential (and it was really well shot), but Platinum Dunes squandered the living fuck out of it with the poorly conceived prequel.

But I love the way this clip teases the audience- "is this a King Arthur movie?" was the first thought that went through my head when I first saw is, years and years and years ago.

Last year, Day 2 was Twins of Evil! Not a euphemism, like Vegas Taco.

Remember last year? When I posted at least one horror trailer for each day of October?

Well I'm back, baby. All you gotta do is click Here to find a tale of TERROR writ in blood

On Fan division and the Twi-hard "invasion"

For them of you that don't have me Friended on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, or follow my Wife's Blog: we got Big News

Headless Zombie Fire Ants. From Texas!

Holy Shit!

HEADLESS ZOMBIE TEXAS FIRE ANTS!!!!!

Wherein I dream of nightmarish things

The first five people who comment here will get something I make. Could be a real life thing, could be something dead. Depends on what I think you will like and my inspirations. (Note, it's going to be something I think you will like. Actual liking not guarenteed!) The only real rule is that you have to make this offer in your own journal.

That is a lot of westerns, but its what I gots. My missus and The Boy have given me 200 Western Movies for Xmas/Birthday.

Come join us over at 200 Westerns where we blog about every single last motherfucking one of those sonsofbitching cocksuckers.

Does Roy Rogers gotta shoot a bitch? Most likely he does, but he'll sing a song first and then just shoot the pistol out of the bitch's hand while Dale Arden laughs.

I'm kind of a fan of Broken Lizard. I enjoyed Super Troopers, adored Club Dread (me and one other person). I haven't seen Beerfest, but I did watch two of the guys from Broken Lizard checking out my Vespa once in the parking lot at Fox.

The trailer for their next, The Slammin' Salmon, isn't great- actually, it's pretty spotty- but is has a Lance Henrikson cameo (!?!) and Michael Clarke Duncan OWNS the trailer. I keep laughing when I think of his delivery regarding Soup Face...

all can be found here!

Dude: "So that bike, it is from here?"
Me: "er, come again?"
Dude: "Where do they make them?"
Me: "Oh, right, Italy, Vespas are made in Italy,"
Dude: "She got, Vera, like a Ferrari engine?"
Me: "Uh, no. No, no, no. 50cc, 2-stroke, tops off around 49mph- going downhill mebbe 55"
Dude: "Wow, so she is a little bike-"
Me: "Yeah, but you know, I don't need anything bigger to get to and from work, home, errands. Besides, gas..."
Dude: "Oh yes, your gas you don't worry about!"
Me: "This morning I put two bucks in, she's half full,"
Dude: "No way?!
Me: "Way"
Dude: "Why you not put in 4 bucks, fill her up?"
Me: "Only had 2"
Dude: "Yer funny!"
Me: "Just poor,"
Dude: "No seriously: you're Funny!"
he walks off.

So I don't know if you watch television- I don't, except when I'm at work- mainly because I hate commercials. There are always, don't get me wrong, watchable commercials. Those three white boys that sing the free credit report.com ads, I like them. Anything with the Cavemen makes me snarl and kick the TV.

And then there is Flo Le Sigh. I don't know what it is, but from the first time I saw her gushy weirdness, I was in TV Commercial Love. Or, really, more like TV Commercial Crush. Ok, more like TV Commercial If Flo Was A Real Person I'd Want to Follow Her On Twitter and Be Her Internet Buddy.

I mean, c'mon, she's Flo!

Turns out I'm not the only fan, according to Austin360.com actress Stephanie Courtney has a lot of fans- or at least her Progressive character does.

But best of all? Courtney played Gwen from Files & Records. No, you don't understand: "I'm Files and Records" waaaay back in the day on Angel- a character that my wife and I have always lamented they never used a second time. Because DAMN, she was creepy-awesome.

This second post has been brought to you by the letter L and the number 3

Hey gang. I'm still spilling my Thoughts on teh interwebs, but I have few to share here today- sorry for the lame linkage- other than this: Don't worry, they aren't taking LJ away from you. Just me. The Warden says too many hamsters have died.

Current Mood: contemplative

An Open Letter to St. Nick (would that be pronounced SinNich?), Sinterklaas, Santa Claus, Great Pumpkin, that creepy Krampus (beware the 5th!) guy, and all other applicable.

To celebrate the winter/Baby Jebus/solstice I would greatly appreciate the following-

1. A new pair of riding gloves. My Nomex flight gloves are worn through (the leather) and just don't stay in place at the wrist to keep the wind out. I hear good things about the Mechanix brand tactical gloves.

2. A bottle of something to keep the chill out (if you knows what I means)

3. I'd love to get the zipper on my leather jacket replaced/fixed. That would rock.

4. A little sprinkling of good cheer, luck, and some extra love- we've got plenty, but a little extra never hurt.

Thanks!